Just Give Me a Reason

“We’re not broken just bent and we can learn to love again.”-P!nk

IMG_6169Happy Monday! I have the day off, so I started my morning with this leg routine. Hopefully they stop feeling like jello, so I can get my butt kicked in spin tonight. My mommy and I are going to have a girl’s day, getting mani-pedis. Such a great way to start off the week!

This weekend was filled with lots of love. I spent Friday celebrating Valentine’s Day with my sister and then on Saturday, I met up with one of my guy friends from college. Just like Gabe, I haven’t seen John since we graduated. It’s hard to believe how much time has passed. Even though it was really, really great to see him and we had a blast catching up, it was a little bittersweet when I thought about how much things have changed. And how much things are going to keep changing. He’s getting married in October and moving down south. They plan to start a family soon. As happy as I am for him, it was a lot to take in. We’re practically babies ourselves. It seems like just yesterday we were freshman, drinking beers on the roof of his dorm. This whole growing up thing is starting to hit me like a shit ton of bricks.

IMG_6175The past few months have been a roller coaster. I try my best to keep some parts of my life separate from my blog, but then I almost feel like what I’m blogging is a lie. There’s something that’s been bothering me that I’ve been going back and forth about sharing on here, but I think maybe if I write about it, I’ll feel a little bit better. Right before Christmas, Mike and I decided to take some time apart from each other. The reasons don’t matter, as much as all of the thoughts that have been going through my head. The second I met Mike, I knew I was going to marry him. But we went through a lot of hard tests early on in our relationship, and suddenly we were at a point where we didn’t think we’d be. We don’t know how we got there, and we don’t know when things changed. We thought that maybe being apart for a while would be best. We could focus on ourselves before trying to work on things as a couple. The reason I’ve been traveling around and filling up my weekends is because I want to keep myself busy. Do as much as I want to for myself, and maybe learn a thing or two about who I am. But to be honest, it’s not really helping. All the distractions I’ve been using aren’t working and I can’t run from myself anymore. SO, I just want to say out loud what I’ve been feeling for two months: Mike, I miss the shit out of you.

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