“And I know there’s a reason. I just keep hoping it won’t be long ’til I see it and maybe if we throw up our hands and believe it.”-SafetySuit
Good morning, my loves! Happy hump day. It’s been a crazy week so far, and I’m sitting here with a heavy heart. It’s been a year since the Boston Marathon bombings and for some reason, yesterday was a crazy emotional day for me. I read the post I wrote last year and was caught so off guard by the way it made me feel. I’ve been going back and forth in my head for the past month or two, having waves of guilt for not running Broad Street this year. I know I’m super critical of myself and everything I do (and don’t do), so I’m trying really hard not to be so harsh on myself. But, I haven’t even trained for it as much as I told myself I would. Running is my happy place. It makes me feel pretty. It gives me confidence. I’m my happiest after a run. I guess a part of me is trying to find that balance between the ease and the effort. I had no clue it would be this tough. I feel like I’ve let myself down, and everyone else that I said I’d always run for. I pledged to run for those who can’t and I haven’t been living up to that as much as I could. Reading how much strength I gained last year from such a tragedy really made me realize that I need to push myself harder than I have been. I know how much I’m capable of, and I really need to start pushing myself to my limits again.
I’ve been enjoying myself, and my weekends, with people I spent too much time apart from for a while. Mostly because of running and obsessively training, partly because of other distractions. This past weekend in New York was amazing. I saw boy friends that I haven’t seen since I graduated, and girl friends that I haven’t seen in months. And of course, Alyssa and Gabe. We went to Gansevoort on Friday night for some cocktails, before meeting up with everyone after they got done at the Armin show. The view was absolutely gorgeous. The rest of the night was spent catching up over drinks. Saturday morning we all got up and went to Hudson Eatery for brunch. It was delicious. I had The Helena Omlette. After we got done at brunch, we cabbed it to the Upper West Side to drink at our friend’s parent’s house. It overlooked Central Park. That was the moment that I fell head over heels for the city. It was the most perfect day to sit out on the porch, soaking up the sun. Seriously amazing. I can still feel the warm sun beating on my face as I type this. Mmmm. Once our two friends had to head back to Boston, the rest of us decided to bar hop for a little bit before taking a much needed nap. We ended up at Tonic and Wharf Bar and Grill. All rooftop bars, because how else would we a sunny and 75 degree Saturday afternoon? We got done napping, and I don’t know how, but we managed to make it to the Penny Farthing. Sunday morning was rough, but we still made it to Brunch at The Hill before I headed back to Philly.
The next couple weekends will be spent in Philly, relaxing and spending time with everyone here. I need 7 days of workouts for the next few weeks. Plus, if my goal is to have balance, I can’t neglect all my Philly loves. Oh and I need to get to a Phil’s game like yesterday.